Goodbye To You
by Glittering Pegasus
Summary: A year and a half in hiding has gone by. Will they ever be free? *Sequel to Here With Me*


Goodbye to You- The sequel to "Here With Me'

~Vaughn's POV~

****

**_Of all the things I've believed in  
I just want to get it over with  
Tears form behind my eyes but I do not cry  
Counting the days that pass me by_**

417 days. That's how long it's been. That's how long I've been alone. That's how long I've been depressed. That's how long I've lasted without her. 

She has it worse than me, I know that. I know where she is. I know she's safe. I have friends who are allowed to see me. 

With her I know it's different. 

Weiss has been assigned more than once to go to Canada to check on her. He tells me how she is. 

She doesn't respond to the agents when they talk to her. She eats one meal a day and maybe none. She cries and sometimes sobs. She doesn't sleep most nights, but when she does she tosses and sweats. 

Sometimes, hearing those things, I want to cry myself. But I hold back. Compared with her, I have no right. 

But I have nightmares. Every night she's trapped in some new terror, but one dream in particular, the one I have most every night, is the one I fear the most. 

I see her; she's kissing me at the pier. Then we walk away and suddenly, everything is gone except her. She sits all alone, crying. She reaches out and calls my name, but I'm not there. I see her and my heart aches and shatters, and I scream back out to her, but as though an invisible wall has been put up between us, she does not see or hear me. 

She just keeps crying out my name and sobbing, until I awake in a cold sweat, my hair and pillow drenched.   
  


**_I've been searching deep down in my soul  
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old  
It feels like I'm starting all over again  
The last three year were just pretend  
 _**

The people who visit me, they don't try to hide it. They know I'm in love with Sydney. And given the situation, they don't admonish me for it. They try to help me. 

They tell me always, every visit, 'Don't worry, Mike. It's almost over. You'll see her again soon."

I get sick of hearing that. I know it's not true. The truth is, no one knows when the end will come. When we lost our doubles, as Jack had to leave as well, things went fifty times slower. 

Sometimes I think they're hiding the fact that we're back to where we started three years ago. I'd say those three years might as well have not happened, but that would be the biggest lie I could tell. 

The only time I'd been truly, amazingly happy was when I was with Sydney. Even those last few minutes we'd spent together on the pier, I cherished. Even those minutes were like Heaven. 

But when they were over, Hell erupted from the earth. 

All I wanted was to see her again. Just once, to tell her I loved her and that everything would be alright. 

If only SD-6 would cease to be.   
  
**_And I said "Goodbye to you  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
You were the one I loved, the one thing that  
I tried to hold on to  
  
_**

*FLASHBACK*

_"Think of me," __Sydney__ whispered, her voice breaking. _

_"Always," I promised, and I'd meant it. _

_"Goodbye, Vaughn."_

_I wished she would call me Michael. _

_As we walked away, I turned back and whispered, "Goodbye, Syd."_

*END FLASHBACK*

We both knew, that night more than ever before, how much we really cared about each other. And I'd tried to keep her, but keeping her safe was more important.   
  


**_I still get lost in your eyes  
And it seems that I can't live a day without you  
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away  
To a place where I am blinded by the light  
But it's not right  
  
_**

It's weird. It's a strange cycle of oxy-morons and opposites. But when I think of her, of her light brown hair and hypnotic deep dark eyes, sitting all alone and crying, I feel nothing but her pain. 

Bun then I shut my eyes tight and imagine her happy and free, and suddenly my world is filled with light. 

It was all so unfair to her. Everything. She'd worked so hard and put up with so much. Lost so much and gained so little. And yet she kept on fighting just the same, right up to her last moment of freedom. 

  
  


**_Goodbye to you  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
You were the one I loved, the one thing that_**

**_I tried to hold on to  
  
_**

I hope for her every night and day, and every moment in between. I loved her from the day I met her, to the moment we said goodbye, and now still. 

If she even still felt the same, I couldn't say. But I await the day she'll return either way, and I'll go on regretting the day I said 'Goodbye.'  
  


**_And it hurts to want everything  
And nothing at the same time  
I want what's yours  
And I want what's mine  
I want you  
But I'm not giving in this time  
  
_**

Why do we regret some things that bring us pain, but cherish others? 

I regret leaving. I regret saying 'goodbye.' I regret whatever tiny slip-up we made to let Sloane catch on. 

But I don't regret the one thing that left Sydney and I in this utter desolation after it all. 

I don't regret falling in love with her. 

And all I wanted was to know that she was safe, and while she was miles away I knew she was. 

But I wanted her to be here. I wanted to see her again. 

And one day, that might start out as another normal day in a long line of normal, depressing, shut- in days, I knew I would.   
  


**_Goodbye to you  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
You were the one I loved, the one thing that  
I tried to hold on to _**

My wish came true. It was a normal day in a long line of normal days. 

It happened so fast yet with such impact. 

It was very early in the morning. The sky was just beginning to lighten to a hazy gray. I awoke to softly murmuring voices coming from behind the mirror. I got up from the couch and found the little headset hidden beneath piles of old newspapers. 

Carefully putting it on, two words were uttered into my ear, quick and spirited, "It's over."  
  
**_And when the stars fall  
I will lie awake_**

It took all day. It wasn't until 11:30 at night that they could check everything, make sure every little detail was gone through and everyone was safe. 

Then they let me out. 

I looked up at the glowing stars against the sky, savoring the sweet night air. I hadn't seen the stars, or any or the outside world, in over a year. 

An agent led me into a black car. 

He didn't even ask where I wanted to go. He knew. 

Hours later, the sky is once again brightening to a new day, but I have not slept at all. The ca stops in a forest. We haven't passed a house, or any sign of civilization, for three hours. 

But there it is, amidst a patch of trees. The safe house. 

I step up to the door and ring the bell. A few minutes later, the door creaks open very slowly and I see her. 

She is gorgeous. I still love her. I whisper that it's over. We're free. 

Her reaction… I can't describe it. It's indefinable. Beautiful 

She says nothing. She steps outside, for the first time in 528 days, into my arms. 

We're free. 

They fought but went down. They crumbled, they lost. 

They're over.

But we're not. We're a new beginning. 

****

**_You're my shooting star_**


End file.
